How do you see your future?  Do you buy into our western societal model of inevitable physical and mental decline in older age, being able to do less and less?  Or would the eastern model (of our third age being the time for us, to develop & perfect our passions and enjoy; and at some point on the upward curve, we die) be a more desirable one for us to adopt?  Which do you prefer? The choice is ours.

The Law of Belief says simply this: Whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality. Whatever you intensely believe becomes your reality. That we have a tendency to block out any information coming in to us that is inconsistent with our reality. Brian Tracy

The majority of old people in our society tend to see their futures as short and uncertain and so don’t engage in further development.  The tendency is to live in the past rather than engage in the present or look forward to / build a positive future.

Prof. Ellen Langer suggests that dementia may be a survival strategy when then future looks bleak, as in her nursing home study.  Dementia is more likely to develop when people perceive themselves to be lonely or have experienced a trauma that may appear unresolvable.  When there seems to be no point in going on, when someone is unable to see a future being different from an undesirable or unbearable past and present.

So, what do the longevity ‘experts’ do?

Dilts found that all his ‘experts’ were orientated towards the future; speaking about their future they seemed to associate into it (i.e. experiencing it as if it was actually happening to them – using their senses seeing, hearing, feeling it etc.).

He found that although they did think about their past and re-experience past events, it was mainly in a dissociated way (as if it were happening to someone else, or was firmly in their past).  Or, if they did associate into it, they didn’t dwell on it for long.

They saw old age as a benefit, allowing them to do things they couldn’t have done as a young person.  They had things lined up that they enjoyed and wanted to do.

There may have been responsibilities or time constraints in younger life which kept us from doing things we loved.  Maybe perceived or actual social constraints prevented us from being ourselves – for example wearing what we wanted.  Older age allows us to be freer to express ourselves, wear what we want, do what we are passionate about.  To be who we really are rather than who we think others want us to be.

Peggy did her first of several paraglides at age 100 .

The experts recognized that ageing well was something you have to work for it and it it was worth it.  It is a proactive experience, taking responsibility for your part of it – and getting what you want from it.

• How do you see your future?  What would you really love to do?
• Is it a future you are passionate about and congruent with who you are? Something that will get you out of bed in the morning; worth putting in the effort and keeping yourself fit for? Going to fulfill you for the next 30+ years?
• How can you build what you want into your future to have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life until you die?
  

Contact Diana at Age Wise! for help & advice.