Age Wise!

A multifaceted approach to living a happy, healthy and fulfilling life after 60.

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, AND HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR

Look at the positive side of things – look at the silver lining instead of the cloud itself.  In other words to be able to reframe seemingly negative events as something positive.

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”  – Meister Eckhart

This can be as simple as comparing the event or situation with an even more negative one (‘at least I still have a roof over my head’ after a divorce). Or seeing a wider picture which allows the positive benefits of an event to be found (‘without 11 years of ill health I wouldn’t have become a health coach and wouldn’t be writing this!’  At the time I couldn’t see anything positive about it.)

Imagine doing a Google search.  If we type in ‘everything that has gone wrong in my life’, that is all we will find.  Life will seem pointless, no hope of things improving, put us into victim mode. and probably predispose us to developing dementia.  Try re-framing these events, enter a different search and see how this gets us back in control and able to create a happy life & future!

Match what helps and mismatch what doesn’t.  Mr V’s strategy was to agree with those who told him he could accomplish something he wanted, and to disagree with anyone who said he couldn’t.  Along the lines of ‘Oh yes?  I’ll show you!’

All the ‘experts’ saw old age as a benefit.  Instead of focusing on what they could no longer do and what they had lost, they looked at the benefits that come with age.  Reduced responsibilities allowed  more time to do what really interested them; feeling more open and confident; believing their age allowed them to do things they couldn’t have done as a young person.

This is brilliantly put in Jenny Joseph’s poem: When I’m an Old Woman, I shall wear purple.

This is particularly important in our western societies which focus on youth – bemoaning the development of grey hair and wrinkles rather than focusing on the gifts and beauty bestowed by growing older.

Having a sense of humour allowed the ‘experts’ to remain vital and cope with life in general. Being able to see the funny side of something means seeing it from a different perspective and so helps with reframing.  Being able to laugh at ourselves and things that go wrong helps us to learn from them and get over them quickly.  And humour & laughter brings huge physical and mental benefits.

Remain flexible – roll with the punches.  I was taught:  ‘stuff happens – it is how you deal with it that matters.’  Nothing is set in stone; there isn’t just a right or wrong way – there is a whole continuum of actions and reactions.  If something doesn’t happen as you want or expect, modify your plans!  The universe (or God) may be giving you something better than you could ever have imagined.

• What do you – or could you – see as the benefits of old age? What new things does it allow you to do?
  
• How can you find the positive in some of your less-happy past experiences?  Practice re-tell your experiences in a humorous way.
• How can you adapt to turn a seemingly ‘negative’ experience into a gift to you?
• How can you add more humour and laughter to your life?
• Think of some things that have ‘gone wrong’ in your life.  How can you re-frame them to be beneficial? What are the gifts they brought to you?

Contact Diana at Age Wise! for help & advice.